


Dancing for the Broken-Hearted

by OfSnakesandCentaurs



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfSnakesandCentaurs/pseuds/OfSnakesandCentaurs
Summary: Dancing has never been your thing. But with him, it's different.
Relationships: Sasagawa Kyouko/Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Tsunayoshi/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. So Close

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters.
> 
> Recommended Song: So Close - Jon McLaughlin
> 
> (Y/N): Your Name  
> (E/C): Eye Color

**_“So close_ **

**_To reaching that famous happy ending_ **

**_Almost believing_ **

**_This was not pretend.”_ **

As lawless as the mafia is, there are many unsaid rules and traditional customs that the Underground follows. And one of them is: if the Vongola throws an event, you do anything to go.

Not only because one can socialize with almost every high-profile name in the mafia world, but you might get the chance to score a few moments with the Vongola Decimo – so long as you go through his Guardians first.

As such, you have never been a big fan of extravagant events like this, full of hungry vultures hiding behind their facades of artificial smiles and eyes that betrayed their desire. Aside from the closest allies of the Vongola – who are there to simply have fun and enjoy themselves, and maybe get into a little destruction – the others only care about politics and alliances and gaining favors.

You know that it is something a person can’t avoid when they find themselves embroiled in the mafia, but you can’t help but find it sickening sometimes. You have never been the type of person to like parties or being in the crowd, but tonight is especially difficult for you.

But the event is important to the person that matters most to you, and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you didn’t show up.

So, you settle for hanging around the corner with a glass of champagne or two, occasionally talking to some of the girls and nodding at people in acknowledgement when they came up to greet you. Your (E/C) eyes scan the crowd, the lights from the chandeliers and glitter trails from the countless designer dresses almost blinding you.

“Hey, how are you holding up?” The familiar friendly voice of Yamamoto Takeshi breaks you out of your reverie. You make eye contact with the black-haired Rain Guardian, then quickly turn away as you try to hide your expression by taking a sip of champagne.

“Fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Ok, ok, wrong question.” Yamamoto raised his hands in a sign of goodwill and chuckled lightly. “This really isn’t your scene, huh?”

“Not really, no,” you admitted as you try to keep your voice level, so to not let the emotions that you have force down spill out from your body. However, you could feel his almost sympathetic gaze boring into you.

The string quartet pause for a second, and from the soft music that they have been playing to set the atmosphere, they switch to a more romantic and slow song, one fit for dancing. As soon as you hear the first notes, you clench the glass flute tighter and down it in one gulp, ignoring the worried glances of Yamamoto. You need all of the courage you can get if you are to get through the night.

And then you see him.

Even from across the ballroom, his chocolate brown hair is easily recognizable. Your breath hitch as his russet eyes lock onto your (E/C) ones. The corner of his lips tug into a smile, and with those long legs of his, he strides across the room to you, his eyes never leaving you as if you are the only one in the world.

“Takeshi,” he greeted the Rain Guardian once he gets to right before you. “Do you mind if I borrow (Y/N)-chan for a bit?”

“She’s all yours.”

He turns to you, and to your dismay your heart palpitates furiously as he offers his hand. “(Y/N)-chan, can I have this dance?”

You take a deep breath in and set down the champagne flute. “Yes, of course.” As soon as you touch his hand, you feel an electric current travel throughout your body. He gives you a smile and leads you to the center of the ballroom, where everybody can see the two of you.

You never like being the center of attention, so the fact that you have countless pairs of prying eyes fixed onto you made you a little self-conscious. As if noticing your feelings, he gives your hand an encouraging squeeze, and one look into his warm eyes is enough to calm you down and reassure you that everything will be all right.

He gently guides your hand to rest on his shoulder, and your heart pounds loudly at his feather-light touch as his free hand settle on your waist, pulling you in closer so that there was barely any space between your body and his.

God, you are certain your face is crimson red right now.

At first, the two of you dance to the music, but gradually you find yourself dancing to another rhythm entirely. One that you are certain only you and him can hear. You stared into his gorgeous brown eyes that flashed an orange hue under the right lighting, completely lost to the world.

You think about how lucky you are to have met him.

~~~~~

You met him when you were 18.

Once upon a time, you were a normal girl with a normal parents who love you with all of their hearts. At that time, you were waiting for your university entrance exam results and eager to know if you had enough scores to get into the university of your choice. You were out with your friends when you got the news.

You rushed back to your home, jumping in excitement to tell your parents the good news. But what greeted you wasn’t their smiling and proud faces. Instead, you saw the door of your place bust wide open, the walls splattered with drying blood. As you stepped inside, your body shaking and close to hurling at the stench, your heart told you what you denied.

The sight in the living room only served to confirm it.

As it turns out, you parents weren’t so normal after all. They were once part of the mafia, but had long since retired and settled down in Japan to start a family. But some grudges ran deep, and your parents paid the price. Still, in the last moments of their lives, they found a way to ensure that their daughter will be taken care of.

A few hours later, Reborn found you sitting outside of your home – lonely, cold, and empty. If you were surprised to find a baby looking for you, you didn’t show it, you heart was too barren to feel anything.

The police have taken your parents’ bodies for examination hours ago, and after taking your statement and offering their condolences, they asked if you had any place to stay. You lied and said that you’ll be staying with a friend.

The truth was you didn’t have anywhere to go, no place to call home any longer.

Reborn said he could give you one.

You didn’t trust him, but what other choice did you have? You knew you couldn’t live in the streets.

He arranged a hotel room for you for the night, where you met Dino for the first time. He offered you some sympathy, but you were numb and didn’t respond back. At least, he didn’t try to tell you the cliched words that you would hear from someone when your family dies.

The next day, Dino worked with the police, and told them that you would be living with some _“relatives”_ of yours in Namimori. You knew that was a bold-faced lie, because you’ve never heard of Namimori before.

Still, you followed them dutifully, right up to the gates of the Sawadas’ house, where a kind woman greeted you. She fussed over you, assuring you that you were more than welcome to stay. Although you were still too numb, you couldn’t help but be touched by her kindness.

Next to her, you spotted the brunette with gravity-defying hair. He looked at you curiously, but not judgingly. It was as if he recognized you, or at least recognized the state you were in. At that time, you didn’t give it much thought.

You settled in, but never feeling quite comfortable enough to call it home, even though Nana and the other residents of the house have treated you with nothing but care and compassion. You didn’t talk to anyone, ate your meals quickly and immediately went back to your room once you were done, where you spent your time holed up inside.

You had the sense that it wasn’t healthy, but you didn’t care.

One day, someone knocked on your door. You didn’t open it, as usual, but the person was persistent. Eventually the door opened, revealing the brunette, who was carrying a tray filled with cookies and tea.

You didn’t spare him a glance, instead deciding to hug your knees to your chest and burrowed your face inside it. You heard him set the tray down on the table and for a moment everything was silent.

 _“I don’t know what you’re going through,”_ he finally said, his voice soft and gentle. _“But I do know the feeling of having your world suddenly turned upside-down in one day, and I know the feeling of confusion and scariness that followed. So please, at least let me answer some of your questions if you have any.”_

You titled your head to the side so that you could look at him. His brown eyes were filled with concern, but there wasn’t any judgment or pity in those eyes. Still, you couldn’t find the strength to talk.

He waited for a few more seconds, then got up to leave. But that was when the scent hit you. Freshly baked cookies like the ones that would come out of your mom’s oven, warm and sugary sweet. The soothing smell of fragrant bitter green tea, just like how your dad likes it.

Suddenly, you were back in the kitchen of your house, hands and face covered with flour and batter as you tried to help your mom bake. In the distance, you hear your parents laughing as undoubtedly your dad smeared some frosting onto your mom’s face. And you find yourself laughing along.

For the first time since their deaths, you cried.

It was like a dam had finally been broken, and all of the pent-up emotions and tears finally have the chance to be unleashed. You choked on them as they rose to your throat. You heard him stop in his tracks and turn around. He sat beside you on the bed, and tentatively placed a hand on your shoulder comfortingly.

It was enough.

From then on, those late-night visits would increase, and each time he would bring you some tea and desserts. The first few nights you reverted back to your silent state, but there were nights when you would cry non-stop, and finally there were nights when you were willing to talk.

Well, sometimes he did most of the talking.

He would tell you about how he first met Reborn and found out he was the heir to the Vongola, and the people he met along the way and the misadventures he got into. The more you listened, the more you got curious, and gradually you began to ask him questions.

He was right about some things, at least with answers you didn’t feel as lost and scared of this sudden world that you were thrusted into as before.

Slowly, you began to open up more, and got out of the house for once – meeting all of the people that you’ve heard so much about. But that didn’t mean you’ve stopped grieving, for there were days when you didn’t feel like getting out of bed. On those days, he was always a warm and comforting presence, guiding you through the sadness.

Reborn may have been the one who brought you here, but he was the one who made this place your home.

And one day, while witnessing the usual antics of the group, with Gokudera and Lambo getting into a squabble and the silver-haired bomber whipping out his dynamites while the kid simultaneously getting out his bazooka. That resulted in a small explosion that threw Ryohei off balance and causing him to grab onto Yamamoto who grabbed onto Gokudera who grabbed onto Lambo who grabbed onto Tsuna who grabbed onto you, and all of you fell into the river.

Everyone was soaked and laughing, and after recovering from disbelief, you find yourself laughing along, too.

But you stopped to listen to his bright laughter, and that was when you realized. You might have just fallen in love with him.

~~~~~

The song slowly comes to a stop, and he pulls you flushed against his body, so close that you can see every detail of his handsome face. He smiles at you and the whole world fades away. As did he.

“(Y/N)-chan? (Y/N)-chan?” Yamamoto’s voice makes you jerk back into your body. You suck in a huge breath and heave, feeling as if though you just had an out-of-body experience. You find yourself still standing next to Yamamoto, your hand still gripping the flute. You look around, seeing the activity still going along as usual.

“Are you okay?” Yamamoto asks, and you turn back to him, his dark eyes crinkling with worry.

“Yeah, yes, I’m…I’m fine.” You turn away, suddenly feeling disgusted with yourself.

What were you imagining? Of course he wouldn’t dance with you, he is occupied with the beauty with golden-brown hair in front of him. They dance to the music and their own personal rhythms in perfect unison. Even from where you are standing, you can see her honey-colored eyes shining with affection for him and knew that in his eyes there is only her. As they pass by you, you see the distinct glint of the diamond ring on her finger.

Yes, you are in love with Sawada Tsunayoshi. But his happy ending isn't with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on:   
> Tumblr: ofsnakesandcentaurs  
> Wattpad: OfSnakesandCentaurs


	2. Dancing on My Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters.
> 
> Recommended Song: Dancing on My Own - Cover by Alexandra Porat
> 
> (Y/N): Your Name  
> (E/C): Eye Color  
> (H/C): Hair Color

**_“So far away_ **

**_But still so near_ **

**_The lights come on_ **

**_The music dies_ **

**_But you don’t see me standing here_ **

**_I just came to say goodbye.”_ **

You have all of the makings of a tragic character.

A heart-breaking backstory that made you who you are today. A journey full of tribulations and obstacles hindering you at every turn. And a love that can never be.

When you realized that you have fallen in love with Tsuna, you did everything you could to smother those feelings. You beat at them and push them down, but they are like smoldering embers that refuse to flicker and die. And all it took is his presence to spark them alive again.

Still, you made sure that the flames are for your eyes only. Because your embers can never compare to the bright sun in his heart.

Sasagawa Kyoko.

You met her for the first time and you could feel nothing but purity and innocence emanating from her, like an angel descending from above. She is beautiful inside and out, greeting you with a friendly smile and made you feel welcomed when you decided to hang out with everyone for the first time.

While with her, you couldn’t help but break into a small smile of your own, even when that smile quickly became forced when you saw how Tsuna behaved around her, blushing and stuttering whenever she talked to him. You saw the look in his eyes and you recognized it, for you looked at him the same way.

~~~~~

You admit, there was a time in your life when you wondered what if your (H/C) hair was a more golden sheen, what if your (E/C) eyes were molten like amber honey, would that make Tsuna love you? It was a time when you would pick and pluck every flaw and imperfection of yours and drown in the ‘what ifs.’

You like to think you’ve outgrown such behaviors, but some habits are hard to break.

The song comes to a stop – for real this time – and you turn away as people began to flood over to Tsuna and Kyoko, probably to fawn and compliment on what a lovely couple they are.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You spaced out for a moment there.” Sometimes, it’s nice to have someone worry about you. But not today, especially not today. You’re afraid that if he shows just a bit more concern, you won't be able to hold it in.

“I’m fine. It’s probably the alcohol getting to me.” You make an excuse and wander your eyes around, trying to find something to change the subject. You spot Chrome walking towards you and visibly brightens, hoping that the purple-haired young woman can help take your mind off things.

“Takeshi-kun, (Y/N)-chan,” Chrome greets you with a small smile. “Didn’t you feel like dancing?”

You shake your head. “Not particularly, Chrome-chan.”

“And I’m keeping her company,” Yamamoto says.

“I see,” Chrome says softly. “I hope you’re having fun this evening (Y/N)-chan.” She didn’t say it outright, but her eyes tell you everything you need to know. Dear, sweet Chrome, her kindness is certainly something that had helped you get through many things and you’ve always been grateful for all of the times she’s been there for you.

However, you have always been the stubborn sort, and somewhere along the way you have become incredibly good at hiding your pain and emotions – “I’m fine” have become one of your most-used phrases.

“It’s getting a bit stuffy in here, I’m going to get some air.”

Yamamoto look like he’s about to say something – probably offering to join you – but Chrome quickly stop him by putting a hand on his arms and lightly shaking her head. You incline your head, partly thankful, and head towards a door, setting down the champagne flute along the way.

That’s the scary thing about letting people in, they can see through every single wall you build.

~~~~~

You open one of the wide doors leading to the balcony and finally feel like you can breathe again.

You stuff your lungs full of the slightly chilly night air, hoping to feel nothing but the breeze against your skin, anything to cleanse this ache from your body. You walk towards the marble balustrade, taking in the light of the moon and stars shining down upon you, as if to let you know that they see. And that they know everything.

“Herbivore, this is my spot.”

A chill run down your spine when you hear that voice. There cannot be any mistake in placing the voice, there is only person who call people “herbivores” with such an aloof tone.

“Hibari,” you breathe out as the black-haired Cloud Guardian seem to appear from the shadows (sometimes you wonder if he secretly has Mist Flames). “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was intruding.”

“Hn.”

You bite your bottom lip. Although you’ve gotten quite close to the other Guardians, you haven’t quite figure out how to act around Hibari. Maybe it’s due to the fact that you can never truly read him.

“Ano, should I leave?”

There’s no answer from him, but you don’t see any sign that’s he gonna attack you either – just a very mild annoyed expression in his eyes – so you take that as a good sign and continue trying to get your mind off things.

“Why aren’t you inside?” Your eyes widen as you turn to look at him. Is the Hibari Kyoya actually making conversation with you? To be honest, that surprised you more than his sudden appearance.

“Oh, ummm, etou…” You stutter as you scramble to talk straight, your shock catching you off-guard. “I never like big parties like this, everything’s so calculated and it’s too stuffy for me. I much prefer something quieter.”

For a moment, you realize that you and Hibari have that in common, but there’s no way you’re going to voice that thought out loud, the last thing you want is for him to glare at you for making such a comparison.

“Ne Hibari, have you ever thought about going away for a while?” You venture to make conversation with him, gulping silently when he stares at you with those indifferent dark eyes of his. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But I’ve thought about it a lot, you know? Going somewhere peaceful and quiet, a place where nobody knows who you are, and you can start over again.” You exhale, and your breath becomes a plume of air that rises towards the sky before quickly disappearing.

“What nonsense are you talking about, herbivore?”

You can’t help but let out a light chuckle. “True, what am I saying? This is suppose to be a happy celebration, and yet being happy is the last thing I can be tonight. Tell me, Hibari, would it be better to stay with someone whose mere presence can cause you pain? Or would it be better to leave, knowing that you’ll never see them again, knowing that may hurt you even more?”

There’s silence for a moment, then you hear Hibari click his tongue, almost in a disapproving manner. “You’re a coward if you think running away can solve anything.”

You blink at his bluntness, then a sardonic smile appears on your face. “Maybe you’re right. But then how do you make the pain disappear?”

“If you haven’t been able to answer that question yet, then you’re weaker than I thought, herbivore. You know what you need to do, and yet you refuse to do it.”

“Some things are easier said than done, Hibari.”

“Your world doesn’t have to revolve around him.”

“And yet,” you sigh as you raise an arm up towards the sky. Maybe if you try hard enough, you might just be able touch it, feel it swirling and enveloping around you. “Without him, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have met everyone.”

“Then you should know that he’s not the only who cares.”

You turn around to look at him, surprise showing on your face. “Hibari, are you actually showing some sentiment?”

He glares at you, much more intensely this time and actually looking like he might attack you. “I’ll bite you to death, herbivore.”

“Sorry,” you quickly say. The last thing you want is to deal with Hibari and his tonfas right now. “But…thank you, Hibari. Truly.”

“Hn, I’m tired of this conversation. I’m leaving.” He turns on his heel and leave without another word. Your (E/C) eyes follow him as you lean against the balustrade, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Now actually alone, you have the time to think about what Hibari had said.

There’s no denying what Tsuna had done for you, he was the one who helped pulled you out of the darkness and introduced you to the people you consider your closest friends – your family.

You love him – deeply and irrevocably – that’s an irrefutable fact, something that you know the people around you can see (everyone except _him_ and _her_ ). However, you clutch your heart and realize: he’s not the only one occupying your heart.

Sure, you won’t deny that he probably occupies the biggest part, but you would be lying if you said that the others aren’t just as important. How can you forget the countless summer days and winter nights, talking about everything at once, getting pulled into shenanigans that promised chaos and laughter. What about those late nights you spent with the girls, eating too much sugar and falling asleep to the sound of each other’s voices.

And the times when they all came and comforted you, holding you close as your silent sobs echoed.

You have other people who care about you and love you so much. And here you are thinking about leaving.

You release your grip on your heart and settle your hands on the cool marble surface, tilting your head to look at the night sky. Hibari’s right, your world doesn’t revolve around Tsuna. Your world has become too big to just encompass one sky, too vast to settle itself on a single limitation.

Light giggles bring you out of your train of thoughts.

You look down curiously to see two shadowed silhouettes running through the garden, and as the moonlight shines down on them, you see who they are. You suck in a breath as you see Tsuna and Kyoko joined hand in hand as they pant and try to regain their breaths. They must have snuck out of the party somehow.

They look at each other and let out another laugh, so euphoric and light that your heart burn at the sound. Even from the distance, you can see them staring at each other, then Tsuna cupping one of her cheeks affectionately as he draws her in for a soft kiss.

You clench your hands into fists at the sight – so familiar by now and yet you still ache as powerfully as the first time. You rip your eyes from them, fearing that if you look longer you might lose every strength in your body.

You know there will still be days when you will fantasize and hope that it’s you he’s kissing instead. You who gets to hold his hand. You who gets to bask in his warmth and see the smile he reserves for the one he loves most. You will forever wonder what his love will be like.

But just as there can never be anyone who replaces him in your heart, you know there’s no one who can replace her either.

That ache may never fade, but like the one that settled in your heart when your parents died, it can be healed. With time and effort and much help, it can be healed. It won’t be an easy or short process, but you have endured until now, and you will continue on. After all, you have more to live for.

So, you blow a silent kiss into the night, saying goodbye to the skies of yesterday, and offer a hello to the tomorrows ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing this and I hope you enjoy reading this too! Please leave kudos or comments if you like!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on:  
> Tumblr: ofsnakesandcentaurs  
> Wattpad: OfSnakesandCentaurs


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